Bizarre

I opened my email program at work first thing Monday morning just like always and there was a message from Zoosk mail from a person that I know (a little) who wants me to write a 'testimonial' on him.  (Zoosk, is that short for Gadzooks?)
We met the Christmas before last when we happened to be out with a mutual friend and her husband who were celebrating the husband's birthday.  We kinda took a shine to each other and he ended up spending the night at my place.  He was over a couple of times for dinner and stuff after that and it was non-stop whining about 'the shoulder'.  He had done some sort of damage or other to it and just wouldn't stop whining about it.  If I heard about 'the shoulder' (his term, not mine) one more time I'm sure that I was going to go into a screaming fit.
And we tried to, um, do the nasty.  A great big ol' non-performance there!  Shall we say 'Glibido'? (see previous post from Nobbs)  Or should he make sure that  there's a great big ol' hydraulic hoist at the ready?  Or maybe a steady supply of those little blue pills?  Most definitely had a bad case of 'willy-nilly' (refer back to Nobbs again)
You know, I'm not usually a mean person, but since when do you ask an ex-girlfriend to write a 'testimonial'?  (even though I wasn't really ever a girlfriend)  Now that's definitely stepping into very dangerous territory especially when you have 'performance issues'.  One of my co-workers was speechless that he had even asked me to do such a thing.