Snow

Was going to put up a post over the weekend about the snowfall but figured that after being over to Odie's, I realized that this ain't nothin'.  Sounds like the north east US is going to get hammered again, so I guess I should just shut up, and suck it up.  Tomorrow is the oneth of February and we only have 6 weeks or so of winter left; now that's something to smile about.
I've spent the last few weekends catching up on the curling.  I did tell you that I'm a curling junkie didn't I?  The strategy and precision of throwing a 40lb rock to a point 140' at the other end of the ice keeps me glued to my spot on the big comfy couch.  Our Olympic gold medallist, Kevin Martin, got beat this weekend, which was kind of disappointing but the whole team has been busy with speaking engagements since the Olympics and they apparently haven't had too much time to get together to practice.  One of the broadcasts that I watched a couple of weekes ago was the Continental Cup with Team World up against Team North America that was excellent watching.  Team North America took it my MANY (it was almost embarrising) and there were several formats that were interesting such as mixed teams with 2 women and 2 men.  Team NA coach and captain got it right when they paired 2 of the guys off of Martin's team with 2 of the gals off of Cheryl Bernard's team (Olympic silver medallists) that ended up being a very entertaining game.
Chores seem to get done in fits and starts, but that's ok at least they get done.  After all, it's just the girls and me and they really don't care as long as there's food in the dish.
Had such a bad bout with the 'Sunday Night Insomnia' last night that I really didn't want to get up this morning.  Instead of my usual 3-4 hours of good sleep, get up to use the facilities and then cogitate the state and color of the ceiling, last night's was a serious fight with skating along the top of sleep and never really getting down to a good one.  Should have just got up then and come to work!

Selling Peaches, from my in box. HT to Bill, a regular contributor

A Missouri farmer was selling his peaches door to door.


He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"

He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.

Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.

She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"



Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted for Obama and now I think I'm gonna get fucked out of my peaches...."

The Radio Police II

This is just one of many letters that have popped up in the paper regarding this issue.  One of the radio stations is in total defiance of the ruling by playing the song 24 hours a day (a little overkill, no?) and the CRTC is asking CBSB to review their ruling.  I tried to find the referenced editorial but couldn't find it.


Political correctness

Calgary Herald January 26, 2011 Re: "Dire Need to set the Straits' record straight," Mike Bell, Opinion, Jan. 22.



Regardless of how Mike Bell feels about the Dire Straits song that has been banned from radio stations across the country, a good point has been made in his column about political correctness.

It really doesn't matter how insignificant it is, or what it's about. In truth, it's about being politically correct.

Truthfully, I'm more concerned about the editing of Mark Twain and Bugs Bunny cartoons than a Dire Straits song, but really. Really, it took 25 years to figure this one out? And Mark Twain? Come on people, get a grip.

What we are seeing in this reaction has nothing to do with the song itself, it has to do with the general population finally having enough. You can pile bales of straw on a beast of burden (or is it an economically disadvantaged non-person with social and educational disadvantages?) until one loose straw finally settles on the poor creature and breaks its back.

This is what we are seeing. Just because that straw appears to be muddy and dung covered has little bearing to the issue at hand. It is just the straw that broke the camel's back.

So PCers be warned, this backlash is only going to get worse over time. Maybe it is time for you to find other forms of work, like editing your children's stories so that no one ever gets injured, that the true meanings are lost in a mass of babble, and that their little eyes glaze over so that they too can be labelled as "educationally disadvantaged" by you to gain more government funding for another research project about it.

Oh, right, that's already happened.



Kevin MacMillan,
Calgary



© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald



Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/Political+correctness/4168827/story.html#ixzz1CMiPH94p

Another one from Nobbs

BBC News Thursday



Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 60. A company spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings have resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "I sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

More randomness

Feel good category:
In the news yesterday was a feel good story about a Flames season ticket holder who had pretty much given up on them when they were losing so badly to the Wild(?) (it ended up being 6-0) and gave his 50/50 ticket to the usher and told him that if it was a winner, he'd split the pot with him.  Well holy Hanna, if the ticket wasn't a winner to the tune of $27,000!  The usher approached him at the next game and told him it was a winner and his response was no way.  Yup, it's a winner.  The old guy stuck to his word and split the pot with him.  The usher is a university student and he said that his portion is going toward his tuition.  The old guy and his wife volunteer in Tunizia at an orphanage or something like that for 3 months at a stretch so he's using his portion for travel expenses.  Hats off to both of them; the kid for being honest and the old guy for sticking to his word.

Speaking of the Flames:
Ok, they're on a roll.  Four wins in a row is pretty damn fine for a bunch that couldn't pull a win out if the other guys were just sitting on the bench.  Craig Conroy has been put on waivers.  What a class act.  The linked article is written by a guy who doesn't have anything nice to say about anyone, but this is a good one.

That's just rude:
One of the DJs on the station that I listen to was out in front of his house doing his civic duty by chipping some of the ice out of the storm sewer so the lake that was forming could drain.  Not one, but two, drivers went by without slowing down and totally drenched him.  How rude is that?

This is just wrong:
I'll put the link up.  Another one of those protecting your own property and getting arrested for it.

I might have my truck sold:
Although it's not really for sale, I might have it sold.  I was down at the print shop that we send prints to and was telling the proprietor, Barry, about my experience the last time I was at the needle-in-the-eye doctor and he asked me what kind of truck I drive.  '05, GMC, diesel, extended cab, long box.  Apparently his dad has been all over Saskatchewan looking for just that thing.  If he offers me the right price, I guess everything's for sale, huh?  What will I get?  Not sure, kinda leaning toward a Yukon.  There's enough room for the girls to really stretch out back there and I could haul just about anything I need to haul now that I live in the city.  Thought about one some time ago, but was living on the farm and hauling the garbage to the dump in the back of one would really stink it up; and where would I put the hay?  Strap it to the roof?  Whatever it is, it'll be a gas job.  I love my diesels (this is my 4th) but you have to drive them warm.  When I was on the farm I hit the highway pretty much 30 seconds from the house, and then it was cruising speed to town and the cab got warm within about 5 minutes.  Now that I'm in the city, it doesn't get warm in there until I'm almost at work so I spend most of the trip huddled over like a dog doing a football.

Anyway, should go and do what they're paying me for and get this bear off my desk.
Be good and I'll try to get back to you this weekend.

from my in box this morning, HT to Nobbs, a regular contributor

Update 10:30, a comment from Andy pointed me to the whole story. (thanks Andy!)

ABOUT THE WRITER, Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.




Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.

At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house..

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous!!!!! A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

6.'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

I am so royally pissed right now

I work in such a crooked industry that sometimes it makes me want to scream.  I found out about both of these today. 
1.     A couple of weeks ago we closed a job that we knew we were low on, and then out comes a Post Tender Adendum that revised some of the fixtures required, added a couple of exhaust fans and up-sized the breakers and conduit and wire to a couple of roof top units.  I had a quick scan and off the top of my head I said it wouldn't be more than 5 grand.  After I had revised my bill of material and sent it out I did the rest of the take-off for the addendum and came up with $1,500 in 'B' materials, all I had to do was wait for the quoted material to come in.  When it came in it added $1,000.  No big, we decided to stand pat.  What burns my brownies is that we knew that we were at X99,900 and the next guy was $10 grand higher.  I had thrown that $5 grand number out there not knowing what the lghting revisions would cost and when it closed again, guess what?  The other guy dropped his price to X03,900 figuring that we would up ours by 5.  What a crock!
2.     In December one of the local Walmarts put a renovation out to tender to turn it in to a Super Walmart.  We knew we were low on this one too, and were diligently following up with the general contractors that had tendered the job.  Today we found out that the general that got the job used someone else.  His excuse?  My number wasn't in until 14:27 and tenders must be in by 14:00 or you've just wasted a whole lot of your employer's money and a bunch of your own time.  BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!  I've never been late with a tender; not even once.  And I have the fax report to prove it.  Well, not quite.  The time stamp on our fax machine is 3/4 of an hour slow.  But, and there's a really big but here, if that's the case how come it never came up in the many conversations that we had had previously.  Or with any of the other general contractors that we had also quoted to and whose numbers just happened to be behind said contractor in the fax queue?

And people wonder why I drink (or don't drink more)!

Anyway, on to better things.  No, I haven't been ignoring you Gentle Reader, I've been just a little busy.  I've missed y'all.  I have been doing my daily drive-bys to see what you've been up to and have had a couple of thoughts on life (or the shortness of it) that haven't really been long enough to post about, so here goes the randomness.

     I think that electrical engineers get paid by the pound of paper that they put out.  I'm currently working on a renovation of a school that was built in the '60's with a couple of additions and renovations since then (I'm sure there's got to be some asbestos and lighting ballsts with PCBs in them around).  There are 52, count them, 52, electrical drawings!  This bear closes next Thursday, so I guess I'd better spur up my horse and get it done.

     We had an arctic front pull up and camp over us for 3 weeks, with daily highs of -16*C.  Currently we have a chinook situation going on that has been hanging around for a week or so with daily highs over 0 and for the last couple of days up to +11*!  Yippee!  While the arctic front was hanging around we ended up with more snow than I've seen since I've been home (10 years).  Now that we be chinooking, the meltdown has begun.  I got to listen to the snow melting off the roof all night; the warm wind was blowing and I got to hear every drop go down the drain spout and hit the extension that moves the water form the edge of the house out further into the yard.  Plink.  Plink, plink. Plink, plink, plink.  With no set pattern it made for very disjointed sleep.

With all of this snow that has apperared, we've had a few avalanches that have closed the Trans Canada Highway and others around the local area.  3 Albertans were killed in them, two of which were cross-country skiing and the other skiing in an in-bounds area of a ski resort.  Just goes to show you that when your number's up, it's up.

Another tragic accident that happened was just plain stupidity.  Picture this.  Transport truck north-bound, loaded logging truck south-bound and a mini van pulls out of a side road in front of the logging truck that is travelling at highway speed.  The logging truck struck the van, spun it around and into the path of the transport.  When are people going to learn that semis and trains don't stop on a dime?  Not only did the driver ruin his day along with his passengers' (all killed in the accident) but also both truck drivers'.  That's something that they'll never forget.

There's another one about a guy defending is property that I'll put up tomorrow (it's on my work compute) that makes me see red, but this will have to do for now.

Have a good one and know that I'm thinking of you,
Deb

HOW TO SELL ... TOOTHBRUSHES, from my in box

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.

"$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"

Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the Obama approach of giving you something shitty that he says is good, and then making you pay a lot to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."

Idiot Sightings, from my in box

IDIOT SIGHTING



When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Toyota dealership in Canton, MS





IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.



IDIOT SIGHTING:


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



IDIOT SIGHTING :

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell

And ordered a taco. She asked the person behind

The counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry,

But they only had iceburg lettuce..

-- From Kansas City





IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.




IDIOT SIGHTING :

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer inWichita , KS




IDIOT SIGHTING :

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING :

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.





How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again.


This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.


STAY ALERT!

They walk among us .... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!

Burglars snort Great Danes' ashes, thinking it was coke.

Here's a bizarre dog news item on the wire today from Jane Sutton of Reuters. Really, you can't make this stuff up!


MIAMI -- Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said Wednesday.

The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.

Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

"The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.

Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said. Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges

Under the heading of "Un.....believable"

Scare the Babysitter

Man, talk about scream like a school girl.


Scare the Babysitter

Tip of the hat to Tracey, a regular contributor to my in-box funnies.

In The News

Fox shoots hunter. No, that's not a typo

MOSCOW - A wounded fox shot its would-be killer in Belarus by pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun as the pair scuffled after the man tried to finish the animal off with the butt of the rifle, media said on Thursday.

The unnamed hunter, who had approached the fox after wounding it from a distance, was in hospital with a leg wound, while the fox made its escape, media said, citing prosecutors from the Grodno region.

"The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw," one prosecutor was quoted as saying.

Fox-hunting is popular in the picturesque farming region of northwestern Belarus which borders Poland.



© Copyright (c) Postmedia News


Mr. Fox looks fairly smug, huh?

The Radio Police

So the radio police have handed down a decision on a rock classic that was written in 1985, deeming it to be 'unfit'.  What kind of crap is this when a single complaint can have a song banned that has been on the air for, let's see, 26 years?  More gubmint meddling.......  As Buck would say "GET OFF MY LAWN!"


Money For Nothing, a classic-rock radio staple by Dire Straits, is too offensive for Canadian broadcasts because of its use of the word "faggot," the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has ruled.

The ruling, released Wednesday, responded to a complaint submitted to St. John's radio station CHOZ-FM over a Feb. 1 airing of an unedited version of the song, which mentions the word three times.

The complainant wrote that the song's lyrics were "extremely offensive" to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

The council is an independent body created by Canadian radio and television broadcasters to review the standards of their content.

Read more:

Dr. Seuss for big kids

My American followers might get a kick out of this one, or not

from the Op/Ed pages of today's paper

There was also this under the title A Party of One.

Immediately after the shooting of Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and six others Saturday outside a Tucson supermarket, President Barack Obama said that "A senseless and terrible act of violence has no place in a free society."

Neither does the ironic knee-jerk ideological finger-pointing that was ignited in the aftermath, with the Tea Party targeted for instant condemnation, even though there was never any indication that the alleged killer, Jared Loughner, had a connection to the political movement, or that anyone in the party knew who he was.

The tragedy that unfolded in Tucson was not about partisanship or ideology, and should not be draped in a political mantle of any colour or stripe. It was about the alleged actions of a 22-year-old individual, who, judging from information about his thought patterns and background, gleaned from his social media pages, a former classmate and other sources, appears to be mentally unstable, and who was able to easily acquire a gun. Loughner ranted about mind control and brainwashing, and talked of inventing a new American currency. His politics are indiscernible from his reading material; he expressed admiration for tracts as diverse as the Communist Manifesto, Mein Kampf, George Orwell's writings, and To Kill a Mockingbird.

The simple fact is that any society is going to contain its share of mentally unhinged individuals, and in the U.S., guns are readily accessible, and Loughner purchased one legally.

Gifford herself told The Associated Press in October that the public meetings she holds sometimes attract, "You know, the crazies on all sides, the people who come out, the planet Earth people."

That said, however, some of the incendiary political rhetoric that's been tossed out recently is disturbing.

On her Facebook page, when she listed 20 Democrats to defeat for their views on reforming health care (Giffords was among them), Sarah Palin shamefully marked their districts on a map with the crosshairs of a gun. Several have since received death threats, and suffered vandalism to their homes and offices. Last March, Palin used gun terminology when she urged "common sense conservatives and lovers of America: don't retreat, instead reload."

Normal people realize that Palin is not inciting violence, but merely using colourful language to get her point across. Nor, in a democracy, would anyone want to quash her free-speech right to do so. Still, in the wake of Saturday's shooting -- Palin was among the first to express her condolences to the families of Giffords and the other victims -- politicians should be giving sober second thought to toning down their rhetoric to the level of more civil discourse.

Aberrant, criminal behaviour knows no party lines and crosses the spectrum of ideology without stopping to favour one side or the other, left or right, blue state or red state, Republican, Democrat, or Tea Partier, for that matter. If there is any party that should be held responsible for the shootings, it is a party of one -- the shooter himself.

Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/party/4089792/story.html#ixzz1AkVvaGGT
 
 
My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of all involved.

Snow, snow, and more snow II

You don't stop to think  about a whole lot of things while it's snowing with gale force winds for 2 days until it reaches up and slaps you in the face like it did to me today when I was reading the paper.  Sure some people were inconvenienced by being stranded, but some of those people were truckers and a whole lot of grocery stores rely on daily deliveries every day, day in and day out.  What follows is from today's paper.


Produce shelves at various city grocery stores are unusually bare after delivery trucks were stalled or delayed along with motorists in severe weather east of Calgary.

Highway closures over the weekend also forced some long-haul truckers to add hundreds of kilometres to their trips as they bypassed Calgary, heading to Edmonton and using roads farther north to reach Winnipeg destinations.

Two Canadian Freightways transport trucks were still stuck in Brooks on Monday morning, waiting for roads to open so they could make their deliveries, said Don Wilson of the Alberta Motor Transport Association.

"They're waiting it out," said Wilson.

It's a rare sight, but many produce shelves at grocery stores, including those at the Southcentre Safeway, were completely emptied of fruits and vegetables by Sunday night, with notes to customers apologizing and blaming the weather for their being bare.

"They get stuff every day and if you get a day's delay, it makes a difference," said Wilson, "and you start to see supplies on shelves being emptied."

Canada Safeway was reporting its deliveries to be a day behind. Some Sobeys stores were also reportedly sort on produce.

"Many road closures certainly have a direct impact on the availability of produce. We feel that today," said Safeway spokeswoman Betty Kellsey. "In Calgary, because we turn our produce so quickly, and most stores have daily delivery, we feel the pinch fast."

She said trucks were back on the roads Monday and it's expected stores will be fully restocked by Friday.

While produce shelves were empty, shovels, emergency kits and space heaters were flying off the shelves of a nearby Canadian Tire store.

Now that makes you think, huh?  And we're in for a couple more shortly.  But it is winter in Canada!

Snow, snow, and more snow

Sometime Friday night the wind picked up and it started to snow.  It snowed all weekend and the wind was the worst part of it.  A good old-fashioned blizzard.  What follows is a portion of a story out of today's paper.


Gusty wind and drifting snow over the weekend, forcing several highway closures, is expected to taper off Monday.

Now, the bone-chilling temperatures set in.

Calgary drivers are set for a long, slow commute to work this morning as the city cleans up after the winter blast.

The mercury is set to drop to -17 C, with wind chill making it feel closer to -27 C. The frigid temperatures are expected to linger through the week as an arctic air mass takes the place of the stormy weather that led to treacherous roads in and around Calgary this weekend.

On Sunday, RCMP and emergency crews rescued more than 100 people who spent hours stuck in their vehicles along the Trans-Canada Highway near Strathmore.

Some motorists spent Saturday night huddled inside their cars on the side of the road, using fuel sparingly to keep warm.

In some locations, snow drifts piled higher than semi cabs.

The Trans-Canada Highway was closed between Calgary and Bassano on Saturday night. It reopened as far as Strathmore on Sunday evening, but authorities warned driving was still not recommended.

The highway remained closed east of Strathmore to Bassano overnight Sunday.

The Town of Strathmore, whose surrounding roads were particularly hard hit, declared a local state of emergency Saturday evening that stretched into Sunday.

The RCMP and local emergency services spent most of the day Sunday searching nearby highways for stranded motorists and taking them to local schools for temporary lodging.

All available RCMP officers combed southern and central Alberta roads, checking abandoned vehicles and rescuing passengers, said RCMP Sgt. Patrick Webb.

"We've had literally hundreds of vehicles in lineups," Webb said.

On Sunday afternoon, Strathmore dispatched three snow plows and buses east from the city on the Trans-Canada to rescue stranded drivers.

Ralf Gnittke and his coworker were stuck in their Ford Sprinter van 50 kilometres east of Strathmore for more than 20 hours.

On Sunday, blowing snow piled outside the vehicle and reduced visibility. Vehicles were lined up along the highway as far as Gnittke could see.

"It's getting worse," he said, while waiting for plows to clear the road. "I see truck drivers helping other truck drivers so they can stay in their car. I see one-and-a-half metres high of snow in front of cars now building up," he said.

Gnittke and his co-worker, who had been on the road for about 30 hours driving from Manitoba before they were forced to pull over Saturday, had only half a bag of chips and a Coke since lunch on Saturday.

They were running low on fuel and started their van every hour for a few minutes to keep the engine heated; they bundled up in all their work clothes to stay warm.

"It's cold. It's freezing cold. It's a howling wind and it's feeling cold," said Gnittke.

"My spirits are actually not too bad. We can't do much about it. There's no point in panicking, we have to stay calm and wait for what happens."

In Strathmore, county snow plows that were initially unreachable due to weather conditions were dispatched in the afternoon to help motorists.

"We've got every available piece of machine we can get to open the roads, but it won't be for a while," said Strathmore Mayor Steve Grajczyk.

Westmount Elementary School in Strathmore received at least 150 motorists in need of shelter.

Further east, Gleichen opened its arena to stranded motorists, and Bassano offered shelter at its community hall.

In Strathmore, a command centre was set up at the town's main office co-ordinating emergency efforts.

It's too soon to tally the price tag for the efforts -- snow plows, for example, had to be brought in from neighbouring Wheatland County -- but Grajczyk said the town plans to ask the province for compensation.

"We're hoping the province will kick in," he said.


Ok people.  It's Canada.  It's winter.  What were you thinking going from Winnipeg to Calgary with no emergency supplies in your vehicle?

Needle-in-the-eye doctor II

Friday I had to go for my check-up at the needle-in-the-eye doctor.  As soon as I walked in I could tell this was going to be a shit-show; the waiting room was jammed and that never bodes well. 
Dr. Anna has moved from a location in SW Calgary to a building downtown and started her own practice.  I hate, hate, HATE going dowtown.  First traffic is horrible (I don't suffer bad drivers well) and then the parking thing is next on my list.  I drive a GMC 3/4 ton extended cab with a long box and it's a real pig to find a spot to put it in what with them making spots smaller and smaller in an effort to squeeze out one more.  I finally found a spot kitty-corner across the street from the buiding with a 2 hour limit and went in.  When I saw the waiting room I started to get twitchy and thought maybe, just maybe things would start looking up.  My appointment was for 2:20.  That came.  And went.  At 3:30, I was called in and the gal checked my eyes and put those damn dilation drops in and told me to go and...... WAIT.   I figgered that maybe Dr. Anna would call me soon, but noooooooo.  At 4:05 one of the other gals came by and said "You're the last in line."  Well obviously.  I'm the only one sitting here!  At 4:15 Dr. Anna finally called me in and checked things out and decided that I didn't need to come bck for 6 months this time (YAY).  A 5 minute check-up took 2 hours.  I made my next appointment, left the office, took the elevator down and when I hit the street I looked over and Blue was GONE!
There's nothing quite like that gut kick you get when all of a sudden your vehicle is NOT where you left it.  It just didn't magically start itself and leave because it was bored!  The best part?  Seeing her go by on a hook.  Ok, I admit it.  I said a whole lot of  really bad words as I was pulling my phone out.  Regis, can I call a friend?  Called my buddy Andy and as soon as he answered I had a little melt down.  It was bad enough that he didn't recognize my voice and asked me 'who is this?'.  I got my act together right away and told him what had happened and asked if he would mind coming to pick me up.  I knew he had to curl later that night so it really was a big favor to ask.  He asked me where I was and told me he'd come to get me and that he'd just take me home and then when he was done curling Saturday morning he'd come get me and take me to the impound yard to get Blue out of jail.  That was really nice.
So there I was, no cigarettes (they were in the truck and I ended up buying some from the place that was really close to the scene of the crime) standing on the corner of 17th Ave. and 9th Street like some ho', waiting for Andy to get there.  Glad the storm that's been blowing here held off 'til Saturday.  It was cold enough that my butt-cheeks were jumping and I knew the knee-caps would start soon.
As promised, Andy showed up Saturday 'round noon and off we went to the Calgary Parking Authority to rescue Blue.  Oh, what FUN!  When we went in to the building there were at least 20 people in line.  Great.  And it wasn't moving.  Finally made it to the head of the line and was asked for driver's license, registration and insurance.  Ok, it's in the truck.  Where else would it be?  Go over there, someone will come for you and take you to your vehicle.  Wonderful.  I don't know if you've dealt with them before, but dang they're slow!  Someone finally came and called my name (the dreaded Deborah, EEW) and took me out to my truck and I asked if it was ok to start it and let it run to warm up.  Go ahead.  Sign here to acknowledge that it was actually you that was in the truck and go back inside and WAIT, they will call you up to do the paperwork.  Do the paperwork and go over there and WAIT someone will come to take you to your vehicle!  By the time the dust settled it cost me $250.00 to get Blue out of jail and 3 hours wasted at the dreadful PA. 
There was one humorous moment when some jack-off pulled up in a Land Rover and parked in a handicap zone.  He was sitting there, waiting for someone in the building.  When he was asked to move, he refused.  Ok, idiot, you're in Calgary Parking Authority's yard and you pull this?  One of the employees came out, ticket book in hand, and started writing a ticket.  Mr. Land Rover got out of his vehicle and started beaking off at the guy, turned around, jumped back in and tore out of the lot like the hounds of hell were after him.  Serves him right.  And provided some comic relief for the suffering masses inside the building.
Not really the way that I wanted to spend my Saturday afernoon.  I might have to flip the bill to Dr. Anna.  How do you think that'll go over?

How to tell a joke (from my in-box this morning, thanks Dad)

definitely a classic Carson moment

BP

This from today's paper.  This is just an excerpt from the story, a link to the rest is at the bottom.  There's a reason that safety policies are in place gentlemen!


A U.S. panel skewered British giant BP as well as Halliburton and Transocean, saying management failures were to blame for the Gulf oil spill, and warned without reform such a disaster could happen again.

Releasing a key chapter of its final report, the panel Wednesday also took aim at U.S. government officials, sharply criticizing them for lax oversight of both the operation in the Gulf of Mexico and the industry.

The root causes of the blowout were "systemic and, absent significant reform in both industry practices and government policies, might well recur," the report said.

Despite the "inherent risks" of deepwater drilling, "the accident of April 20 was avoidable," it said, listing nine key decisions which were made to save time or money even though a safer alternative was available.

The explosion on the Deepwater Horizon rig off the Louisiana coast "resulted from clear mistakes made in the first instance by BP, Halliburton, and Transocean, and by government officials who, relying too much on industry's assertions of the safety of their operations, failed to create and apply a program of regulatory oversight that would have properly minimized the risks of deepwater drilling."

BP welcomed the assessment, which analysts said would likely see the British company paying less compensation costs than expected — it is selling 30 billion dollars worth of assets to cover its part of the bill.

Read more: here

The New Phone

I finally broke down and ordered up a new phone from my carrier.  The old one started doing some funky things like assigning 'friendly' ringtones to 'unfriendly' numbers that I knew not to answer.  (telemarketers, etc.)  I'll deal with them at a later date.  Well, said phone shows up via Purcolator on a weekday morning when the CEO is at work (of course, DUH! why would a normal working stiff like me be home at that time?)  After running around the city trying to find the pickup outlet for an hour, the CEO picked it up on a Saturday morning and headed home to figger it out.
Ok, I'm not the brightest when it comes to electronics, but I'm definitely not stoopid either.  This thing has all the bells and whistles on it (except for a touch screen) and it's supposed to do all things except put the dishes in the dishwasher for you.  I even signed up for a 3G data pack.  Now I'm all set to get my email on my phone and everythang.
Sorry, WRONG!  Do you think that I can get it to retrieve my mail from my home address?  Nope.   From my work address?  Nope.
When I picked up the latest CDs to copy to my iPod before they disappeared into the never-never land that is my disc player (there's enough discs in there that you could turn it on today and not hear the same song for way over a week) there were a couple of slips of paper inside that offered free ringtones, just text keyword xxxx to #### and magically they would show up.  Cool.  I like these guys and was looking forward to having some of their music there.  Well the first one didn't work, and the second one?  I sent said keyword off and got a message back right away.  My first alarm bells should have gone off when the message had a line in it that I must be over 18 to play.  That's a little strange.  And they wanted a reply.  Ok, so I replied and I got this back.  
"Hello what is your name? and what do you want to do with this?  This is my first time doing this.  :)"
I should have written back that this was obviously a sexting virgin and that I wasn't interested but I didn't, I immediately texted back that this # was supposed to be a free download number and never heard a thing after that.
I kid thee not, Kind Reader; you can't make this shit up!

New Years Eve II

I had posted about buying a lottery ticket and celebrating my birthday at Buck's with Andy and Mrs. Andy.  Sorry guys, the pot went to a single ticket holder in Ontario.  Go figger.  Oh well, maybe next year.  Sigh.


On another note, this just in from my email in-box.  A little R-rated.


The missus was watching a cooking program the other day.





I said, "What you watching that for? You can't cook."





She said, "You watch porn."



Bitch.


Update 1700  Doesn't Ontario know that they're messin' with my retirement plan?  And yes, today is my birthday.  Forty-too-many tho' my youngest sister insists that I'm only 37 'cause she's only 34, but she has her math wrong, she must be 33.

One of the best jokes to come along (and it's not even political)!!!

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London , where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace , waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire . The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, " Mr. President, please accept my regrets... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.

Trails in Life

I've been reflecting on where I'm at and how I got here a little lately and then this song was released that made it more intense so I went and bought the album (I do that, people always tell me to just download the song but there are always gems on them that never get air time).  Dean Brody is a good Canadian boy from BC and puts out some pretty good stuff.  There are a couple here; one that pertains to this post, and the other that I've put up for my Military (Ret.) followers at the end.
Not really any need to watch the video, but it's pretty good.

What follows is from the liner notes.

The Trail
Growing up, learning to hunt was a rite of passage in our home.  I remember one excursion in particular: the weekend my Dad took me to base camp up Old Rum Creek.  After some 4am toast and coffee, we saddled up the horses and used a flashlight to find the beginning of the trail.  Then Dad turned off the light.  All I could make out was the saddle horn in front of me and I started to question my Dad's good sense.  To put my mind at ease, he said horses could see better than people and that there shouldn't be any cliffs or flooded creeks along the way.  Far as I could tell he believed what he was saying, so I did too and off we went - in the dark.
It was a crazy feeling, trusting an animal to see what I couldn't and to stay on a trail that I didn't know.  But after an hour or so the sun came up and that old horse led us out to some of the most beautiful country I had ever seen.
Now I'd like to say life is like that horse, meandering along, taking you to a place you eventually want to end up.  But if life is a horse, mine has taken me to the whiskey trough and back, munching on wild crops of cannibis along the way.  But I'm learning that the trail isn't as important as who you share it with - like that morning in the mountains with my Dad, it's the company that makes it worth it all. - Dean Brody

I believe that the Higher Power has a plan for us and we should trust to His/Her instincts and not to question his wisdom.  All things happen for a reason.  I moved from Kamloops to the lower mainland to follow my then boyfriend, the jockey (that's a whole other story), and that's where I ended up getting in to the trade and becoming a jorneyman electrician which has served me well over the years.  It's given me the resources to be able to keep my horses and my dogs and keep a roof over my head, food and beer in the fridge, the occasional new pair of jeans and fuel in the truck.  So I think that, like Dean, I'll keep trusting that horse and the trail he's leading me down.
Now what more, I ask you, could a girl ask for?