I bought a bed

I don't know exactly how it happens, but the majority of us never give much thought to where we spend 8 hours straight.  Or maybe that's just me. 
It wasn't until I was moving from the farm to the city that I realized exactly how bad my bed was.  When we pulled the box spring from the bed frame and flipped it up, the very thin fabric that masked the workings of it had been totally ripped away and, being that I had purchased it over 20 years ago in the lower mainland where it's a whole lot less dry than it is here, the slats had all started to crack.  Not the place for any vigorous sexual activities, I'll tell ya!
When I started my new job in September, it was located in a strip of commercial condos and right next door was a guy that I met while out having a smoke.  We got to talking and I asked him what he did.  He sells beds (ok, apparently the correct term is 'mattresses', but I never got that memo, they changed it without consultation or notification).  For cheap.  Of course I asked the question about how he could be so cheap (ok, cost effective) and he told me that these were brand new mattresses, that the packaging had been ripped and they had some dirt on them.  They were straight from a warehouse in town and were being sold at a discount.  Fine by me, a little dirt never hurt anybody.
Well, the old guy had a brain tumor last year, surgery, and is in remission now, but it's all getting too much for him.  We ran in to each other the other day out smoking and he told me that he was closing up shop and only had 6 mattresses left, did I want to come and have a little look.  Of course I did, how much?  When I first met him it was around $600 and the other day it was $450!  I had a look at a pillow-top model and asked how much for the box spring and he said that it was included.  SOLD.  I'll meet you tomorrow and we can do the paperwork and I'll pay you.  Perfect, now all I needed to do was round up some help to get it off the truck and into the house.  Of course I called Andy and he said that he'd be glad to help.  A couple of emails the next day from him asking if I had picked up this bed and I told him that the guy hadn't been around all day.  I finally found his card taped to the window of his shop (he works by appointment only), gave him a call and he said that he'd be there in :10, would I wait.  No problem.  He got there, we conducted our business and loaded it up for the ride home.
Well, Andy called me on the way home and asked me what time I wanted him to be there and I said as soon as would work for him, but not too long, it's starting to snow.  Well, where's this bed?  On the back of my truck.  Ok, I'll see you shortly.  When he got here he was beckoning me to come outside and I was thinking shouldn't we move the old bed first?  Ok, I'll humor you.  Went out and he was chastizing me for not even having the tie-down straps off yet, and undoing them.  Ok if this is the way you want to play it, I'll go along.  We brought the box spring in and he asked me where I wanted it.  For a very intelligent man, he sometimes asks the most ridiculous questions.  Shouldn't we take the old one out first?  Oh, ya.  Swapped things over and installed the new box spring and went out and hauled in the new mattress.  As he was cutting the packaging off I really had to ask him where, exactly, he thought this bed was?  I thought that you had bought it from your neighbor.  Whereas I allowed as buying a used bed is akin to buying someone's used underwear.  As we took it down the hall and started to put it on the box spring he had a look at the tuft work in the pillow top and said "Oh look, it's even got built-in toe holds!"  We've been friends long enough that he really should know better.  I'm totally useless when I start to laugh and I dropped my end.  No harm done but every time I went to pick up my end I started to giggle again.
Anyway, I slept on that new bed last night and compared to the old one, it's like sleeping on a cloud.  Best sleep I've had for quite a few years.  Honest.  (Only thing is, now I have to go buy new sheets.  Which begs the question are the mattress dudes in bed with the sheet dudes?)