Ahem.
And a new round is, I’m sure, getting rolling after the hot dog incident over the weekend at the Frys.com Open. As Doug Ferguson of the Associated Press writes, Woods was on the seventh green and ready to putt when someone from the crowd threw the remainder of a hot dog at the golfer.
“When I looked up, the hot dog was already in the air,” Woods said. “The bun was kind of disintegrating.”
The dog did no damage and the perpetrator was arrested without incident for disturbing the peace.
But that means little to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, which has denounced the use of wiener as weapon.
“The use of an iconic food in an act of violence against an iconic golfer like Tiger Woods is reprehensible — and a violation of hot dog etiquette,” council president Janet Riley said in a statement released Monday. ” Some might call the thrower a ‘wiener,’ but we’d say that’s too high a compliment.
“Hot dogs are meant to be enjoyed – not weaponized.”
I tend to agree.
And the council is kind enough to provide proper wiener etiquette:
- * Don’t put hot dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Always “dress the dog,” not the bun.
- * Condiments should be applied in the following order: wet condiments like mustard and chili are applied first, followed by chunky condiments like relish, onions and sauerkraut, followed by shredded cheese, followed by spices, like celery salt or pepper.
- * Do eat hot dogs on buns with your hands. Utensils should not touch hot dogs on buns.
- * Don’t take more than five bites to finish a hot dog. For foot-long wiener, seven bites are acceptable.
- * Don’t use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18. Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable. (but what if I don't like mustard or onions?)
- * Condiments remaining on the fingers after eating a hot dog should be licked away, not washed.
- * Don’t ever think there is a wrong time to serve hot dogs.
And let’s all enjoy our wieners a little more responsibly.
Good one, Deb. Guys who play with Tiger will now probably shout "weiner!" instead of "fore."
ReplyDelete* Don’t use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18.
ReplyDeleteBS. Ketchup is an ESSENTIAL part o' a well-dressed dog.
Dan, that one made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteBuck, I don't stock ketchup in my refrigerator (my Daddy always said that ketchup was made for bad cooks), but I'm in total agreement with you there.
Hmm, I was just having a Hebrew National dog - the best of dogs - in the raw.
ReplyDeleteIt's the new phrase that pays ... "He who is without sin cast the first hot dog."
ReplyDeleteMustard and onions ...
I always enjoy my wiener responsibly. Anyone who aims their wiener at another person, without permission, should be severely punished. As for ketchup, to each his (or her) own. I can't say that I've ever put ketchup on my wiener. I usually like my wiener plain, just inserted in the buns as is, but I'm willing to try anything once.
ReplyDeleteLMAO, I'm sure Tiger will be dodging more hot dogs in the future! This may be a whole new way to make a statement. It could start a trend!
ReplyDeleteLou, you were in the raw or was it the hot dog?
ReplyDelete"He who is without sin cast the first hot dog." At least it won't do much damage Odie.
Jim I'm quite sure what to say about that, but I definitely picked up what you wee laying down.
And Scooney, it just MAY start a trend. Tiger's probably had enough hot dogs on his mind over the past few years that he doesn't really need any more.