Was going to put up a post over the weekend about the snowfall but figured that after being over to Odie's, I realized that this ain't nothin'. Sounds like the north east US is going to get hammered again, so I guess I should just shut up, and suck it up. Tomorrow is the oneth of February and we only have 6 weeks or so of winter left; now that's something to smile about.
I've spent the last few weekends catching up on the curling. I did tell you that I'm a curling junkie didn't I? The strategy and precision of throwing a 40lb rock to a point 140' at the other end of the ice keeps me glued to my spot on the big comfy couch. Our Olympic gold medallist, Kevin Martin, got beat this weekend, which was kind of disappointing but the whole team has been busy with speaking engagements since the Olympics and they apparently haven't had too much time to get together to practice. One of the broadcasts that I watched a couple of weekes ago was the Continental Cup with Team World up against Team North America that was excellent watching. Team North America took it my MANY (it was almost embarrising) and there were several formats that were interesting such as mixed teams with 2 women and 2 men. Team NA coach and captain got it right when they paired 2 of the guys off of Martin's team with 2 of the gals off of Cheryl Bernard's team (Olympic silver medallists) that ended up being a very entertaining game.
Chores seem to get done in fits and starts, but that's ok at least they get done. After all, it's just the girls and me and they really don't care as long as there's food in the dish.
Had such a bad bout with the 'Sunday Night Insomnia' last night that I really didn't want to get up this morning. Instead of my usual 3-4 hours of good sleep, get up to use the facilities and then cogitate the state and color of the ceiling, last night's was a serious fight with skating along the top of sleep and never really getting down to a good one. Should have just got up then and come to work!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Selling Peaches, from my in box. HT to Bill, a regular contributor
A Missouri farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted for Obama and now I think I'm gonna get fucked out of my peaches...."
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted for Obama and now I think I'm gonna get fucked out of my peaches...."
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Radio Police II
This is just one of many letters that have popped up in the paper regarding this issue. One of the radio stations is in total defiance of the ruling by playing the song 24 hours a day (a little overkill, no?) and the CRTC is asking CBSB to review their ruling. I tried to find the referenced editorial but couldn't find it.
Political correctness
Calgary Herald January 26, 2011 Re: "Dire Need to set the Straits' record straight," Mike Bell, Opinion, Jan. 22.
Regardless of how Mike Bell feels about the Dire Straits song that has been banned from radio stations across the country, a good point has been made in his column about political correctness.
It really doesn't matter how insignificant it is, or what it's about. In truth, it's about being politically correct.
Truthfully, I'm more concerned about the editing of Mark Twain and Bugs Bunny cartoons than a Dire Straits song, but really. Really, it took 25 years to figure this one out? And Mark Twain? Come on people, get a grip.
What we are seeing in this reaction has nothing to do with the song itself, it has to do with the general population finally having enough. You can pile bales of straw on a beast of burden (or is it an economically disadvantaged non-person with social and educational disadvantages?) until one loose straw finally settles on the poor creature and breaks its back.
This is what we are seeing. Just because that straw appears to be muddy and dung covered has little bearing to the issue at hand. It is just the straw that broke the camel's back.
So PCers be warned, this backlash is only going to get worse over time. Maybe it is time for you to find other forms of work, like editing your children's stories so that no one ever gets injured, that the true meanings are lost in a mass of babble, and that their little eyes glaze over so that they too can be labelled as "educationally disadvantaged" by you to gain more government funding for another research project about it.
Oh, right, that's already happened.
Kevin MacMillan,
Calgary
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/Political+correctness/4168827/story.html#ixzz1CMiPH94p
Political correctness
Calgary Herald January 26, 2011 Re: "Dire Need to set the Straits' record straight," Mike Bell, Opinion, Jan. 22.
Regardless of how Mike Bell feels about the Dire Straits song that has been banned from radio stations across the country, a good point has been made in his column about political correctness.
It really doesn't matter how insignificant it is, or what it's about. In truth, it's about being politically correct.
Truthfully, I'm more concerned about the editing of Mark Twain and Bugs Bunny cartoons than a Dire Straits song, but really. Really, it took 25 years to figure this one out? And Mark Twain? Come on people, get a grip.
What we are seeing in this reaction has nothing to do with the song itself, it has to do with the general population finally having enough. You can pile bales of straw on a beast of burden (or is it an economically disadvantaged non-person with social and educational disadvantages?) until one loose straw finally settles on the poor creature and breaks its back.
This is what we are seeing. Just because that straw appears to be muddy and dung covered has little bearing to the issue at hand. It is just the straw that broke the camel's back.
So PCers be warned, this backlash is only going to get worse over time. Maybe it is time for you to find other forms of work, like editing your children's stories so that no one ever gets injured, that the true meanings are lost in a mass of babble, and that their little eyes glaze over so that they too can be labelled as "educationally disadvantaged" by you to gain more government funding for another research project about it.
Oh, right, that's already happened.
Kevin MacMillan,
Calgary
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/Political+correctness/4168827/story.html#ixzz1CMiPH94p
Another one from Nobbs
BBC News Thursday
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 60. A company spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings have resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "I sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 60. A company spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings have resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "I sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
More randomness
Feel good category:
In the news yesterday was a feel good story about a Flames season ticket holder who had pretty much given up on them when they were losing so badly to the Wild(?) (it ended up being 6-0) and gave his 50/50 ticket to the usher and told him that if it was a winner, he'd split the pot with him. Well holy Hanna, if the ticket wasn't a winner to the tune of $27,000! The usher approached him at the next game and told him it was a winner and his response was no way. Yup, it's a winner. The old guy stuck to his word and split the pot with him. The usher is a university student and he said that his portion is going toward his tuition. The old guy and his wife volunteer in Tunizia at an orphanage or something like that for 3 months at a stretch so he's using his portion for travel expenses. Hats off to both of them; the kid for being honest and the old guy for sticking to his word.
Speaking of the Flames:
Ok, they're on a roll. Four wins in a row is pretty damn fine for a bunch that couldn't pull a win out if the other guys were just sitting on the bench. Craig Conroy has been put on waivers. What a class act. The linked article is written by a guy who doesn't have anything nice to say about anyone, but this is a good one.
That's just rude:
One of the DJs on the station that I listen to was out in front of his house doing his civic duty by chipping some of the ice out of the storm sewer so the lake that was forming could drain. Not one, but two, drivers went by without slowing down and totally drenched him. How rude is that?
This is just wrong:
I'll put the link up. Another one of those protecting your own property and getting arrested for it.
I might have my truck sold:
Although it's not really for sale, I might have it sold. I was down at the print shop that we send prints to and was telling the proprietor, Barry, about my experience the last time I was at the needle-in-the-eye doctor and he asked me what kind of truck I drive. '05, GMC, diesel, extended cab, long box. Apparently his dad has been all over Saskatchewan looking for just that thing. If he offers me the right price, I guess everything's for sale, huh? What will I get? Not sure, kinda leaning toward a Yukon. There's enough room for the girls to really stretch out back there and I could haul just about anything I need to haul now that I live in the city. Thought about one some time ago, but was living on the farm and hauling the garbage to the dump in the back of one would really stink it up; and where would I put the hay? Strap it to the roof? Whatever it is, it'll be a gas job. I love my diesels (this is my 4th) but you have to drive them warm. When I was on the farm I hit the highway pretty much 30 seconds from the house, and then it was cruising speed to town and the cab got warm within about 5 minutes. Now that I'm in the city, it doesn't get warm in there until I'm almost at work so I spend most of the trip huddled over like a dog doing a football.
Anyway, should go and do what they're paying me for and get this bear off my desk.
Be good and I'll try to get back to you this weekend.
In the news yesterday was a feel good story about a Flames season ticket holder who had pretty much given up on them when they were losing so badly to the Wild(?) (it ended up being 6-0) and gave his 50/50 ticket to the usher and told him that if it was a winner, he'd split the pot with him. Well holy Hanna, if the ticket wasn't a winner to the tune of $27,000! The usher approached him at the next game and told him it was a winner and his response was no way. Yup, it's a winner. The old guy stuck to his word and split the pot with him. The usher is a university student and he said that his portion is going toward his tuition. The old guy and his wife volunteer in Tunizia at an orphanage or something like that for 3 months at a stretch so he's using his portion for travel expenses. Hats off to both of them; the kid for being honest and the old guy for sticking to his word.
Speaking of the Flames:
Ok, they're on a roll. Four wins in a row is pretty damn fine for a bunch that couldn't pull a win out if the other guys were just sitting on the bench. Craig Conroy has been put on waivers. What a class act. The linked article is written by a guy who doesn't have anything nice to say about anyone, but this is a good one.
That's just rude:
One of the DJs on the station that I listen to was out in front of his house doing his civic duty by chipping some of the ice out of the storm sewer so the lake that was forming could drain. Not one, but two, drivers went by without slowing down and totally drenched him. How rude is that?
This is just wrong:
I'll put the link up. Another one of those protecting your own property and getting arrested for it.
I might have my truck sold:
Although it's not really for sale, I might have it sold. I was down at the print shop that we send prints to and was telling the proprietor, Barry, about my experience the last time I was at the needle-in-the-eye doctor and he asked me what kind of truck I drive. '05, GMC, diesel, extended cab, long box. Apparently his dad has been all over Saskatchewan looking for just that thing. If he offers me the right price, I guess everything's for sale, huh? What will I get? Not sure, kinda leaning toward a Yukon. There's enough room for the girls to really stretch out back there and I could haul just about anything I need to haul now that I live in the city. Thought about one some time ago, but was living on the farm and hauling the garbage to the dump in the back of one would really stink it up; and where would I put the hay? Strap it to the roof? Whatever it is, it'll be a gas job. I love my diesels (this is my 4th) but you have to drive them warm. When I was on the farm I hit the highway pretty much 30 seconds from the house, and then it was cruising speed to town and the cab got warm within about 5 minutes. Now that I'm in the city, it doesn't get warm in there until I'm almost at work so I spend most of the trip huddled over like a dog doing a football.
Anyway, should go and do what they're paying me for and get this bear off my desk.
Be good and I'll try to get back to you this weekend.
from my in box this morning, HT to Nobbs, a regular contributor
Update 10:30, a comment from Andy pointed me to the whole story. (thanks Andy!)
ABOUT THE WRITER, Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
Colonoscopy Journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'
This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.
The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house..
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.
There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous!!!!! A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
6.'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
ABOUT THE WRITER, Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
Colonoscopy Journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'
This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.
The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house..
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.
There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous!!!!! A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
6.'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
Thursday, January 27, 2011
I am so royally pissed right now
I work in such a crooked industry that sometimes it makes me want to scream. I found out about both of these today.
1. A couple of weeks ago we closed a job that we knew we were low on, and then out comes a Post Tender Adendum that revised some of the fixtures required, added a couple of exhaust fans and up-sized the breakers and conduit and wire to a couple of roof top units. I had a quick scan and off the top of my head I said it wouldn't be more than 5 grand. After I had revised my bill of material and sent it out I did the rest of the take-off for the addendum and came up with $1,500 in 'B' materials, all I had to do was wait for the quoted material to come in. When it came in it added $1,000. No big, we decided to stand pat. What burns my brownies is that we knew that we were at X99,900 and the next guy was $10 grand higher. I had thrown that $5 grand number out there not knowing what the lghting revisions would cost and when it closed again, guess what? The other guy dropped his price to X03,900 figuring that we would up ours by 5. What a crock!
2. In December one of the local Walmarts put a renovation out to tender to turn it in to a Super Walmart. We knew we were low on this one too, and were diligently following up with the general contractors that had tendered the job. Today we found out that the general that got the job used someone else. His excuse? My number wasn't in until 14:27 and tenders must be in by 14:00 or you've just wasted a whole lot of your employer's money and a bunch of your own time. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! I've never been late with a tender; not even once. And I have the fax report to prove it. Well, not quite. The time stamp on our fax machine is 3/4 of an hour slow. But, and there's a really big but here, if that's the case how come it never came up in the many conversations that we had had previously. Or with any of the other general contractors that we had also quoted to and whose numbers just happened to be behind said contractor in the fax queue?
And people wonder why I drink (or don't drink more)!
Anyway, on to better things. No, I haven't been ignoring you Gentle Reader, I've been just a little busy. I've missed y'all. I have been doing my daily drive-bys to see what you've been up to and have had a couple of thoughts on life (or the shortness of it) that haven't really been long enough to post about, so here goes the randomness.
I think that electrical engineers get paid by the pound of paper that they put out. I'm currently working on a renovation of a school that was built in the '60's with a couple of additions and renovations since then (I'm sure there's got to be some asbestos and lighting ballsts with PCBs in them around). There are 52, count them, 52, electrical drawings! This bear closes next Thursday, so I guess I'd better spur up my horse and get it done.
We had an arctic front pull up and camp over us for 3 weeks, with daily highs of -16*C. Currently we have a chinook situation going on that has been hanging around for a week or so with daily highs over 0 and for the last couple of days up to +11*! Yippee! While the arctic front was hanging around we ended up with more snow than I've seen since I've been home (10 years). Now that we be chinooking, the meltdown has begun. I got to listen to the snow melting off the roof all night; the warm wind was blowing and I got to hear every drop go down the drain spout and hit the extension that moves the water form the edge of the house out further into the yard. Plink. Plink, plink. Plink, plink, plink. With no set pattern it made for very disjointed sleep.
With all of this snow that has apperared, we've had a few avalanches that have closed the Trans Canada Highway and others around the local area. 3 Albertans were killed in them, two of which were cross-country skiing and the other skiing in an in-bounds area of a ski resort. Just goes to show you that when your number's up, it's up.
Another tragic accident that happened was just plain stupidity. Picture this. Transport truck north-bound, loaded logging truck south-bound and a mini van pulls out of a side road in front of the logging truck that is travelling at highway speed. The logging truck struck the van, spun it around and into the path of the transport. When are people going to learn that semis and trains don't stop on a dime? Not only did the driver ruin his day along with his passengers' (all killed in the accident) but also both truck drivers'. That's something that they'll never forget.
There's another one about a guy defending is property that I'll put up tomorrow (it's on my work compute) that makes me see red, but this will have to do for now.
Have a good one and know that I'm thinking of you,
Deb
1. A couple of weeks ago we closed a job that we knew we were low on, and then out comes a Post Tender Adendum that revised some of the fixtures required, added a couple of exhaust fans and up-sized the breakers and conduit and wire to a couple of roof top units. I had a quick scan and off the top of my head I said it wouldn't be more than 5 grand. After I had revised my bill of material and sent it out I did the rest of the take-off for the addendum and came up with $1,500 in 'B' materials, all I had to do was wait for the quoted material to come in. When it came in it added $1,000. No big, we decided to stand pat. What burns my brownies is that we knew that we were at X99,900 and the next guy was $10 grand higher. I had thrown that $5 grand number out there not knowing what the lghting revisions would cost and when it closed again, guess what? The other guy dropped his price to X03,900 figuring that we would up ours by 5. What a crock!
2. In December one of the local Walmarts put a renovation out to tender to turn it in to a Super Walmart. We knew we were low on this one too, and were diligently following up with the general contractors that had tendered the job. Today we found out that the general that got the job used someone else. His excuse? My number wasn't in until 14:27 and tenders must be in by 14:00 or you've just wasted a whole lot of your employer's money and a bunch of your own time. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! I've never been late with a tender; not even once. And I have the fax report to prove it. Well, not quite. The time stamp on our fax machine is 3/4 of an hour slow. But, and there's a really big but here, if that's the case how come it never came up in the many conversations that we had had previously. Or with any of the other general contractors that we had also quoted to and whose numbers just happened to be behind said contractor in the fax queue?
And people wonder why I drink (or don't drink more)!
Anyway, on to better things. No, I haven't been ignoring you Gentle Reader, I've been just a little busy. I've missed y'all. I have been doing my daily drive-bys to see what you've been up to and have had a couple of thoughts on life (or the shortness of it) that haven't really been long enough to post about, so here goes the randomness.
I think that electrical engineers get paid by the pound of paper that they put out. I'm currently working on a renovation of a school that was built in the '60's with a couple of additions and renovations since then (I'm sure there's got to be some asbestos and lighting ballsts with PCBs in them around). There are 52, count them, 52, electrical drawings! This bear closes next Thursday, so I guess I'd better spur up my horse and get it done.
We had an arctic front pull up and camp over us for 3 weeks, with daily highs of -16*C. Currently we have a chinook situation going on that has been hanging around for a week or so with daily highs over 0 and for the last couple of days up to +11*! Yippee! While the arctic front was hanging around we ended up with more snow than I've seen since I've been home (10 years). Now that we be chinooking, the meltdown has begun. I got to listen to the snow melting off the roof all night; the warm wind was blowing and I got to hear every drop go down the drain spout and hit the extension that moves the water form the edge of the house out further into the yard. Plink. Plink, plink. Plink, plink, plink. With no set pattern it made for very disjointed sleep.
With all of this snow that has apperared, we've had a few avalanches that have closed the Trans Canada Highway and others around the local area. 3 Albertans were killed in them, two of which were cross-country skiing and the other skiing in an in-bounds area of a ski resort. Just goes to show you that when your number's up, it's up.
Another tragic accident that happened was just plain stupidity. Picture this. Transport truck north-bound, loaded logging truck south-bound and a mini van pulls out of a side road in front of the logging truck that is travelling at highway speed. The logging truck struck the van, spun it around and into the path of the transport. When are people going to learn that semis and trains don't stop on a dime? Not only did the driver ruin his day along with his passengers' (all killed in the accident) but also both truck drivers'. That's something that they'll never forget.
There's another one about a guy defending is property that I'll put up tomorrow (it's on my work compute) that makes me see red, but this will have to do for now.
Have a good one and know that I'm thinking of you,
Deb
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